meet the masculine Energy
The masculine energy that the majority of us are familiar with is an unhealthy version of it.
how & why unhealth emerges?
short answer - trauma / we were energetically undernourished - a very common experience of the collective
long one - let’s start from the very ‘basement’ level:
1. Masculine energy is one polar point of the life flow energy itself, the other point of the pole - complementary to the masculine is the feminine energy.
2. These two energies are alive through us - through us living life and expressing ourselves.
In other words , we and our actions/beingness=the way we are, ARE the expressions of this masculine+feminine = life force itself.
3. Because we are expressions of these energies, everything tied to us being / living our lives - our actions&behaviors, ways of relating, life narratives we are given to experience do reflect the qualities of masculine and feminine energy. For now, let’s leave feminine aside and meet the masculine.
4. So yes, masculine energy moves through every single one of us - despite we are born as male or female.
The degree to which how healthy or not masculine energy is within us depends a lot on the environment we grew up in—especially whether our parents embodied healthy masculine qualities. But that’s only one part of the story - the environment doesn’t have the final say because as adults, we have the power to work with our own energy —we hold the authority and potential to heal and balance it from the inside out.
Yet because this energy work is not an easy thing to do and because it’s more of a process / integrating a new way of being — not a rigid task/a super definite goal as to run 10 km — most people don’t participate in this energetical work.
+++ let’s be super honest here 😃 —the majority of us are not even aware that the self has an energetical quality to it and that we can work with this quality of the self
so this means that most often it’s the case of us carrying a reflection of what has been put in us energetically from our parents — meaning —> we’re just predecessors of whatever generational traumas that are prevailing in our family’s lineage 🔴
Healing masculine energy (the same goes with feminine) is a process of
creating,
fostering and
anchoring in
a certain energy within the self which IS characterised by the healthy masculine (and feminine) characteristic one’s system is missing.
In the popular culture i see this process being identified as re-parenting the self
and that’s quite an accurate expression of the process
because you are cultivating within the self the qualities which you once lacked from your actual physical parents and you practice giving/offering these qualities to the self. Under different life scenarios. Through different layers of complexity. Providing the self what it haven’t received and up till this day is lacking.
Yet, it’s easy to say but way harder to do because when we lack one or another emotional resource (which are being created and instilled in our system by us experiencing healthy masculine and feminine qualities from our caregivers) the instinctive impulse that we tend to get is to find people, places, circumstances that would provide us with the missing quality — give us the missing feeling. This search and reach for “the other" to provide is taking place because our system instinctively knows that “someone has to fill me”. Yet it’s only true in the childhood / formative years context during which, yes, our parents, in ideal life scenario, should have filled us up / feed us emotionally, as this is how healthy emotional development looks like. However, life sometimes is far from ideal & healthy and this is how it is thus some of us grow up emotionally under resourced and because of that continue to carry the underlying child-stage belief that “someone has to fill me” yet this time, in the context of adult life this system’s programme is extremely detrimental because one keep himself/herself in the position of hopelessness from which you’re kind of paralyzed to take real action and accountability for your own life so literally sepaking the way you operate through life is like an adult baby — you try to run adult life on childhood software —mission impossible, just a lot of frustration and other unpleasant stuff that will make you hate your life and even kind of have an envy for other people because you’re confused “why they aren’t filling me up /fulfilling my needs???”
and here precisely is where the re-parenting is coming up — when you’re an adult you have top drop the idea that someone is coming in to save you —that’s old software that you haven’t passed by because you were not given the emotional resources to grow out of — thus it leaves you only with you —with the adult you who has to come in the scene and work for the self so the self could be provided with everything that it is still lacking from the formative years. If you find this dynamic somewhat familiar I deeply encourage you to connect with me via 101. The sooner, the better if to be completely honest with you here.
Now, let’s come back to meeting the masculine, the energetical qualities of the healthy version of it.
🌿Let’s define the healthy masculine energy
Direction – the ability to move forward with clarity and purpose, in a way that feels true to one’s inner self, it’s not about forward move which is fuelled by fear and what other expect from me
Protection – setting and holding boundaries that honor the self and others - only you are able to know where your limits are so in order to protect your optimal well-being you communicate what’s ok and NOT ok for you. Saying “no” when it’s a no or not an immediate yes
Structure – creating clear habits and routines that organize your time and energy into a steady and reliable framework. It’s like building a solid frame that keeps everything in place, so you don’t feel scattered and overwhelmed. It’s like a specific plan = certain structure which you have to stick to in order to be able to focus, grow and by incremental steps come closer to your goals.
Presence – being fully here and aware, calmly watching what is taking place internal and externally without running away or distracting your self by any way
Integrity – living in truth, staying accountable to one’s words and actions
Support – being a force that you yourself and other are able to lean on, especially when things get hard. It’s about being to send the meessage to your inner system (and to other person if it’s the case) “I hold you”, “I got you” , “We’ll get through this”
When we don’t receive these qualities while growing up our masculine energy is not being fostered in a healthy way. We’re just not getting the right and adequate amount of nutrition speaking energetically-wise. This in itself is traumatic. When this is happening the masculine energy in us gets distorted and starts expressing in unhealthy / wounded ways:
🔻 When healthy direction was not instilled - aggression, domination, and an obsession with success takes place. A person just chases an i d e a of what a direction should be - pushing forward, climbing higher, proving worth yet however the inputs do not have a clear internal match as these efforts are coming from a place to prove someone something (ego based) that rather acting in alignment of what one’s system knows where he/she should head towards in life, what are their deepest purposes of living :)
🔻When protection isn’t modeled or offered, a person may grow up feeling unsafe in the world—constantly on edge, overly defensive, or becoming the one who overprotects and controls everything around them. Instead of feeling held by life, they try to control it, often from a place of fear.
🔻When structure is missing, there’s either complete chaos or a rigid attempt to overcompensate with harsh routines and unrealistic standards. Without true inner structure, a person may lack consistency, discipline, or the ability to hold themselves through discomfort. The person’s system becomes overly strict, seeking control instead of flow.
🔻When presence hasn’t been gifted—when no one truly saw, listened to, or witnessed an individual growing up—one will struggle to hold himself\herself through challenging & hard life experiences . That person will often struggle to hold themselves through life’s hard moments. Even small discomforts can feel like drowning, because their system never learned how to stay with emotional intensity without numbing it down in one way or another. No one ever modeled what it’s like to meet pain with presence.
🔻When integrity isn’t taught or mirrored, the line between truth and performance blurs. A person may say what sounds right or do what’s expected, rather than stand in alignment with what feels honest and true. People-pleasing, deception, self-betrayal/abandonment often take the.
